TEENAGE PROBLEMS

Teenage is the period where the mental and physical transformation occurs. This transitional period is faced with confusion and conflict. The growth and development, change in hormones creates frustration, out bursts, stress and poor decision making in youngsters. This period is the crucial time to put teenagers into right track in life. Parents and family should understand that the behavior of the teenager is mainly affected by the following aspects:

• Confusion about physical body changes

• Increased consciousness about self and personal appearance

• Peer group influence

• Availability of free time, money and freedom.

• Curiosity to know about their body changes, opposite sex and tendency to experiment.

HOW TO DEAL WITH TEENAGER & TEENAGE PROBLEMS: As parents we love our children and so are concerned about their lives. We tend to keep an eye as we watch them budding into teens. On the other hand it is natural for a parent to worry about their teenager. It is because they know the problems of that age as they have crossed it already. Knowing the usual problems of teenage girls, mothers some times out of overprotection "hold" the teenager by restricting them in many ways. This only strains the relationship and causes frustration and depression in both the parties. FEW TIPS TO MAINTAIN TEENAGE GIRLS PROBLEMS EFFECTIVELY: I believe that there are many alternatives to deal with teenage problems for parents than the monotonous ways:

• Remember that every "small thing" matters a lot for a teenager.

• Parents need to understand that the teenager may not be ready to accept self care,

• responsibility of their lives and behavior all of a sudden. It is because they were only kids who were care free, cared for and protected by the parents so far.

• Keeping these issues in mind mothers need to gently and slowly introduce the responsibility the teenager should "feel and take" about themselves.

• Make them understand that they are no more "considered" kids by the society.

• Observe for any mood fluctuations, abnormal and unusual behavior, increased interest in personal appearance, uncommon out bursts of anger, tears, violence and total silence.

• Mothers should try to identify the problem they are facing. Show yourself that you are trust worthy. Be honest and sincere in your approach.

• Make them believe that as a mother you are there to "help" them and that you are not the one who makes their problem a "big issue" or complicate it.

• Be "friendly" and at the same time say "no" to any type of inappropriate behavior.

• Explain them the physical changes or biological changes are due to natural hormonal change.

• Let the teenager express all the doubts which might be causing curiosity in them. Then advice the suitable answers to their doubts.

• In some countries "dating" is common where as in other countries it is not encouraged. Hence parents need to counsel teenage girls about the problems of dating, their consequences and how it affects their future life.

• While handling the emotions of a teenage girl always follow the rule of calm and steady attitude. Never provoke them. It only worsens the problem and in fact the stern and angry punishments by mothers turn the teenage girl away from her. It ultimately motivates to develop negative and purposeful wrong behavior in teenagers.

• Never demand more than what they can afford to do. Appreciate every improvement or best performance. Motivate positive thinking when the scores go low and encourage them to find better solutions or methods of learning.

• Parents should never compare their teenagers with others even if it is a sibling. This only induces either inferiority guilt feeling or superior ego in them.

• Always keep in touch with your teenager. Keep talking about anything they feel like talking to you including issues of education, their ambitions, friends, peers, their future plans, their intentions and thinking, their ideas and doubts.

• Give them time to think and evaluate your advice, solutions, support and help. Do not overwhelm.

• Parents should be role models to their teenagers and should be cool, dignified and modest.

• Mothers should not try to teach the child which they do not follow themselves. Substance abuse, quarrelsome behavior, alcoholism, domestic violence, smoking, flirting, perverted behavior in parents or other family members encourage the teenagers to do the same things. They tend to revolt, if questioned, by pointing out to your behavior. Hence it is important for parents to be sincere, truthful and faithful maintaining the morals of life.

• It is better to be in touch with the "associates" of your teenagers. That way you can know what happens behind you.

• Keep an academic record of the teenager and review it at regular intervals. Frequent visits to their school or collages gives best feedback of "what's" happening and how your teenager is responding there.

• Never support teenage tantrums. This only increases the problem.

• Make the teenager to understand that any bad behavior would not be tolerated and the consequences of such behavior can be serious if not corrected appropriately and immediately.

• In severe behavioral problems among teenagers… group counseling, classes on management of stress, behavioral therapy, psychotherapy and personal counseling help a great deal.

• Try to look in to their common problems like acne, body odor, dressing appropriately, skin changes, removal of unwanted hair, hair styling, and bad breath and help them to solve such problems without any stress.

• Never correct the teenager in public. Whatever the problem might be privacy is best to follow. Otherwise it can lead to deep hurt and humiliation in teenager.

• Make them understand the value of family, customs, tradition and cultural values.

• Never allow your teenager for late night parties and coming home late at night.

Walking with your teenager is fun and at the same time takes your patience and time. Your love and care as a mother binds your teenager to you. When the teenager understands that you have high expectations, hope and regard for them, they surely would respond positively to your guidance.