CHILD ABUSE

Children are the ones who make the home "complete". They are the creatures of happiness, joy and cheerfulness in the society. They give us pleasure with their innocent deeds. Kids give us enjoyment with their babbling and unlimited chatter. They wipe away our sorrow with their sweet and loving smile. Children are created to give us "A new life", to teach us caring, sharing, patience, loving, nursing and unbounded empathy. I just cannot think world without kids. They make every celebration colorful. The childhood mischief becomes favorite memories. I can say children give us inspiration to thrive forward and to settle them well in their lives when troubles overwhelm us. I wonder how can anyone "abuse" these wonderful creatures. Abusing children has become a common habit now. In well developed countries also abuse is a major problem. Sometimes these issues are made public whereas, many times kids are "made" silent. Many children’s pain goes unnoticed. Innocent children are being beaten, bruised, molested and harassed in sadistic ways in many parts of the world. If we can look into the causes for child abuse surprising factors can be observed. Here are some of the reasons for child abuse: BROKEN HOMES: Any home filled with arguments, frustration and violence, the effects of it are mostly suffered by children. When the ego of the parents or other family members is hurt, this is reflected as abuse on children. Parents tend to reflect their anger or release their tension or stress on children even when a small mistake takes place by them. SHORT TEMPER: Though there is no wrong from the child's side just because parents or family members or friends or teachers cannot control their anger, the child has to face the anger in the form of abuse. DIVERSED AND SINGLE PARENTS: When there is a broken marriage, because of the frustration of raising a child alone can also lead to violent behavior towards the child by the parent. The parent might be under great stress, helplessness, depression and financially lacking which forces them to behave negatively with their own children. On the other hand increasing demands by children and need to satisfy those demands keeps the parent in great pressure that can again lead to child abuse. PARENTLESS CHILDREN: Children, who lose their parents due to some reason, really are the victims of the child abuse. If the care taker or guardian feels that this child is a burden to them, tends to show off the tension on the child. Parentless children are looked down by many. They take the advantage of these kids and make them do whatever the care taker desires to have. It can be work, child labor or sexual abuse. Because the child does not have any other choice, silence becomes in evitable. The fear of punishment also keeps the child's mouth closed. This forces the child to hold back the tears with an effort. COMMUNICATION GAP: Recent development in technology and need to work for long hours, parents do not find much time to spend with children. Whatever happens to the child, child hesitates to express with the parents because of lack of proper communication. Child may also fear that parents would not believe them if they say abuse has taken place. FRUSTRATION IN FAMILY: When the family members are filled with ego, conflicts and selfishness, the poor child at home faces the violence. The tendency of adults to “control" children by rude methods also can result in child abuse. CHILD NEGLIGENCE: Negligence of a child intentionally or due to factors like lack of time, stress, anxiety, lack of income, lack of communication also leads to child abuse. Friends or relatives who are trusted to be trust worthy can take advantage of those situations in the family and abuse the innocent children. Some children go out for help without hesitation to escape from the abuse. But most of the times kids become "still" and hide their problem of abusing due to:

• Fear of punishment

• Fear of more manipulation

• Not to hurt parents

• Shame

• Guilt

• Watching conflicts at home and thinks that it is of no use talking about their problem

• Fear of being accused

• Thinks that parents would make it a big issue and lot of damage can occur to them

• Anxiety about persecution by the people who abuse them

• Pain and anger

• Depression

• Lack of support and understanding from family members

• Loss of parents or loved once

• Fear of being mocked or teased

• Ignorance of consequences of abuse if not reported to the adults

• Feeling of inferiority and humiliation

WAYS TO STOP CHILD ABUSE:

• Parents need to spend more time with kids. This facilitates the children to express themselves to parents sooner or later.

• Observation of children for signs of any abnormal behavior like unusual silence, abnormal quietness and calmness, out busts of anger or tears, increased frustration, poor attention and concentration, strange behavior which could be as a result of abuse, is important.

• Allow children to talk about their problem when they come to the parents. They should not be put off or hindered for any reason. Especially if the strange behavior is noticed, it is better to let them talk about it.

• Parents should not ignore complaints of children being abused by other family members, friends, relatives, close associates or strangers. It is because abuse comes from these people in first place.

• Parents must encourage children and educate them to take help when abused by others.

• Family members should show themselves that they are trust worthy and the child can come to them for help whenever necessary.

• Developing healthy relationship, positive behavior, cheerful and happy home environment reduces the anxiety and tension in children. This helps them to express themselves without any restrictions.

• Parent counseling and family counseling helps to handle conflicts in the family instead of showing the stress on the innocent children.

• Children should be motivated not to spend time alone for long periods. This creates a feeling of insecurity and can lead to abuse by outsiders very easily.

• Children should be taught about self defense and maintenance of safe distance with people around them as much as possible.

• Teaching about causes of abuse and violence create awareness in children. This helps them to either handle the situation in right way or report it immediately.

• Parents need to explain not to trust any stranger.

• Personal counseling to parents in handling their own emotions properly also reduces child abuse and violence.

• Play therapy helps children to express their hidden problems.

• Parents should always keep an eye on their children because kids are physically, emotionally and mentally weaker group who cannot fight back the abuse by themselves.

In this context, I invite everyone to stop child abuse when noticed by any one of us anywhere and at any time. I feel it is our duty not to put off the light of the joy and cheer in children by suppressing them. Kids are the gift from God. I sincerely feel that one should not misuse these precious lives because they are freely available for abuse. Taking advantage of child’s innocence, ignorance, weakness, trust and faith in us is the reflection of the beast within one who abuses children for trivial things. The purity of a child should not be spoiled by the sadistic and selfish attitude by the adults. I think it is a shame on humanity if a child is persecuted by any means and for any cause either physically or mentally or emotionally.