DOMESTIC VIOLENCE THAT WOMEN FACE

Women are considered as weaker group in society. I feel various factors influence this aspect of "weakness" in women. It starts right from the home itself. I keep watching women who are "made" weak and helpless when the expected demands of the other family members are not met by them. This unmet need by women is reflected as domestic violence on their lives. It is pathetic to observe and understand that many women despite of the service, love, care they render to the family members, still suffer from domestic violence. The reasons could be multi dimensional like dowry problems, lack of financial background, lack of support, lack of education or beauty or it could just be the "selfish" desires of the other family members who expect the lady to "fulfill", if not make them face the punishment. Now a day this violence is seen in every place. Most of the time the problem starts once the girl gets married. Violence became inevitable weather the marriage is arranged or the one chosen by the lady. There are really good families who accept and support daughter-in-law as their own family member. Here the story ends happily. On the other hand, quite many families including the husband forget that she came out of her "safe cocoon" trusting them. To her horror she realizes that home is the most "unsafe" place when the violence starts. I think the problem is not just the violence itself. It is also the helplessness of women who cannot go back to their parents or seek help from other resources reasons being the following: SOCIAL STIGMA: This is the first thing that affects the life of women who go out for help when they face domestic violence. This can be seen especially in countries where it is felt that the "respect" of the house should be maintained by the women. Male dominated societies would not bother if a male commits any type of "wrong" either in public life or in personal life. But it is pitiful to think that the female is harassed when that wrong doing of men is not supported by them. They silently bare the torture knowing the consequences if the issue is made public. Only a few would come forward to help such women, the rest of them stand detached as these ladies deteriorate day by day. In fact this spreads as an "event" of hot discussion locally damaging the female’s fame and respect. LACK OF PARENTS SUPPORT: Females prefer to suffer to any extent instead of going to the parents for help. It could be because they don’t want to hurt their parents. Sometimes they feel ashamed and guilty to discuss about their problems with husband or in-laws thinking that the respect of the in-laws house would be damaged. Some get hindered because parents themselves can cause more problems by direct confrontation or propaganda about the other party. This would only increase domestic violence. LACK OF FINANCIAL SUPPORT: Women without a job, education or financial resources tend to keep quite because they lack confidence to stand on their own and live an independent life without money and security once they leave the home. IGNORANCE: Even now where there is lot of advancement in technology, some women do not even know that there are various voluntary organizations that help females that suffer from domestic violence. There are women help lines, female cells where women are protected from violence. This should be brought into light and made known to every woman as much as possible. Women education is also important in pursuit of cultivating problem solving attitude. LACK OF COUNSELING: Many women face domestic violence that causes increased stress which leads to depression and suicidal tendencies just because they do not have a right word of counseling at right time. Women go to the extent of self harm because they lack the inner strength and confidence to handle the problem of domestic violence. Hence counseling and guidance help a great deal to identify the problem causing factors and give them an idea about how to solve these behaviors. I wish that every sector of society should take an active part in supporting women by stopping domestic violence either directly or indirectly. Professional help like marriage counseling, family counseling, and personal counseling to all family members has got great impact in banishing domestic violence without braking the hearts or homes. Hence it is very important for the females to be educated and be self sufficient. It is always better for the women to wait till they are capable of managing a family rather than blindly getting married. Parents should understand and support women in making an independent decision to get married till they are matured enough to handle their husband, children and in-laws. The men should understand the women and encourage them to flourish instead of smashing their future to satisfy male ego or desires of in-laws and family members.